House Party
by NotWhoYouThinkThisIs
Summary: AU: all human. When Bella and Edward end up spending three days together at Jessica's beach house, Alice decides to get her matchmaker on... with slightly less than perfect results! ExB, Read and Review please!
1. Mutual Frustration

**Author's Note: **

**Justin:** another thing we write while we fail to update other stories…

**Tequila:** we're so bad:D

**Justin:** a friend of ours has twice yearly beach-house parties, and Tequila got to thinking

**Tequila: **what would happen if Edward and Bella ended up at one of those parties? Not at meat-boy's house, of course (even though we wuv you, meat-boy!!) but… Jessica's?

**Justin: **so she started scribbling away in her fanfiction notebook during Chem… obviously we've been sitting on this for a while now!

**Tequila:** and TA-DA!! this is what happened…

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer signed the rights to Twilight over to us… _riight_… NOT!

The Mutual Frustration of Two Interested Parties

**BPOV**

It was officially spring, being the 23rd of March, but the weather hadn't quite caught on yet. The wind howled and the cold, lashing rain outside made me quite glad to be sitting in the snug cafeteria, eating dubious meatloaf. At least it was warm, and dry—with the exception of the water we'd tracked in.

There were nine of us seated at the long lunch table in the east corner of the cafeteria, but the only one I was interested in was the one seated directly across from me. Edward Anthony Cullen.

Sadly, the answer to the questions "how long have I known Edward Cullen" and "how long have I been madly in (unrequited) love with Edward Cullen" are the same. Ever since he and his sister Alice moved to Forks, Washington towards the end of freshman year. They were fraternal twins, and about as different as day and night. Edward was tall, Alice short, Edward was near-silent, Alice never shut up, Edward was a loner, Alice never happier but when she was surrounded by people. They even looked different: Edward with their mother's bronze hair and striking green eyes all his own, Alice with jet black hair and their father's clear grey eyes. Dr. Cullen worked at the hospital, his wife Esme was an interior decorator. Alice was one of my best friends, and Edward was my first real crush. He had no idea, of course.

We weren't that close. He sat at the lunch table with Alice, Jessica, Ben, Angela, Mike, Tyler, Jasper, and I. Jasper was Jasper Hale, Alice's boyfriend and Rosalie Hale's younger brother. Rosalie was dating my best male friend, Emmett McCarty. Pretty incestuous, right? It would have been worse if I was dating Edward… which was somewhere I didn't dare go, not even in my daydreams. Edward was brilliant (and my lab partner, as if life wasn't 'perfect' enough already), funny, kind, gorgeous, and played the piano beautifully. He'd been a child prodigy, and received quite a lot of press, back when they lived in L.A. Now he just played in two school bands and spent all of his free periods in the music room. Emmett and Rosalie would have been there too, Emmett laughing and throwing food, Rosalie coolly and calmly indifferent to the world, but they were seniors and on a college tour this week.

I sat back in my seat as my friend Jessica cleared her throat, and began to make an announcement. I was reading Wuthering Heights (again) and missed whatever she was saying. I didn't miss the reaction, though. Alice began squealing, Mike and Tyler began chattering excitedly.

I looked up. "What did I miss?"

Jessica giggled. "Bella! You've got your head in the clouds, as usual. I'm having a house party—next weekend. You're all invited!"

I blinked. "All?"

"Yeah—everybody here and Lauren and Rosalie and Emmett."

I made a tiny face. Lauren was good friends with Jessica, but had disliked me ever since the boy she was crushing on in eighth grade (Tyler) had asked me to the Halloween Dance.

Mike chimed in, "Won't it be great, Bella? Three days at Jessica's beach house!"

I knew she had one—she made sure everyone knew—but I had never been to one of Jessica Stanley's infamous beach parties. She'd invited me, once in eighth grade, twice in freshman year (Charlie wouldn't let me go) and not a single time as a sophomore. That probably had something to do with the explosive fight we'd had over Mike, of all people: she'd wanted him, he'd wanted me, I'd wanted some peace and quiet. They'd dated over this past summer, and now we were back to being friends. At least, she sat at my lunch table instead of with Lauren, Jane, Collin, Felix, and Laurent. I smiled awkwardly. "Well, Jessica, that's really sweet of you, but I don't know—my dad—"

"Oh, come on, Bella!" Tyler yelled, "You're seventeen! Live a little!" I blushed. I wasn't sure I wanted to go: three days with Mike and Tyler and Lauren and no escape.

Alice leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I'm coming—and so is Edward." I blushed even deeper. Alice was the only one who knew about my ridiculous crush on her twin brother, and she never missed an opportunity to tell me I should 'go for it.' Easy for her to say. She had Jasper, who would do anything for her, who had fallen in love with her the moment he saw her. She claimed to have fallen in love before she saw him. I shook my head. Why would Edward go to one of Jessica's parties? She'd had a rather embarrassing crush on him towards the start of sophomore year (P.M., or pre-Mike).

Edward had been frowning absently at nothing, but he looked straight at me now. I swallowed as the full brilliance of his amazing emerald eyes stole my breath for a moment. This was so not healthy. "You should come, Bella. It'll be fun."

I swallowed again. Edward. Talking. To me. "Uh… yeah. Sure. I'll come—if Charlie says I can." He shot a crooked smile in my direction and I swear I melted.

That's me, Bella Swan, the pile of goop sitting across from Edward Anthony Cullen in the Forks High School Cafeteria. Yep.

**EPOV**

I hated lunch time. Sitting at a table with Jasper and Alice (and usually Emmett and Rosalie) was fun. Ben and Angela were perfectly pleasant. But sitting across from Isabella Marie Swan was torture. She was so beautiful—so effortlessly, eternally beautiful and kind and sweet and funny and smart and wonderful. And she would so never ever in a million years give me a second glance.

Watching Mike and Tyler blatantly flirt with her was even worse. I wanted so much to be the one smiling at her, laughing with her, asking her out; all I seemed to be able to do was write song after song about her, songs I only ever practiced at home. Songs only Alice had ever heard. Alice was the only one who knew how pathetically obsessed I was with her best friend.

My twin sister had tried numerous times to be me to admit my feelings to the angel that now sat across from me—I had resisted. As frustrating as it was now, hardly daring to speak to her and acting distant so I wouldn't embarrass myself too badly, admitting to my obsession would be infinitely worse. To be rejected, laughed at, pitied?! Intolerable. It was bad enough now, sitting with her at lunch, being her lab partner (she was so good at Biology) and having to repress everything I felt.

I tilted my head back and started blankly off at the wall. I could practically hear Alice screaming in my head to look at her, talk to her, flirt with her. Alice and I had the 'twin-speech' thing down.

Jessica took a deep breath. "So, you guys, um, I'm having another beach party, and you're all invited." My sister immediately began squealing. I'd never been to one of Jessica's infamous beach parties, although Alice had filled me in on the play-by-play every times she returned. They were…interesting...to say the least. I wasn't particularly interested in going this time, especially as Lauren was coming. That girl came after me with all the subtlety of a cat in heat. It was irritating.

Bella looked up, and even without looking at her, every muscle in my body tightened in anticipation of hearing her speak. She had the loveliest voice. "What did I miss?"

Jessica gave a high pitched giggle. "Bella! You've got your head in the clouds," _She did not!_ "…as usual. I'm having a house party—next weekend. You're all invited!"

Bella looked rather adorably confused. "All?"

"Yeah—everybody here and Lauren and Rosalie and Emmett." I scowled slightly. Emmett would want me to come, if he was invited. And he would go, if Rosalie did. And if I knew Rosalie, she would be going.

Mike leaned forward, obscuring Bella slightly from my view. Goodbye beautiful… "Won't it be great, Bella? Three days at Jessica's beach house!" How disgusting. I could tell what he was thinking, and it was not at all something I wanted going through his head. Especially not about Bella.

The object of my unrequited desires blushed an absolutely enthralling shade of palest peach. "Well, Jessica, that's really sweet of you, but I don't know—my dad—"

She wouldn't be going, then. I sighed quietly; then there was no point whatsoever in my bothering to attend. Tyler was gabbing something at her now, but I tuned him out. My sister took this moment to lean over and whisper in my idol's ear, loud enough so I could hear it, although I doubted anyone else at the table could. "I'm coming—and so is Edward." This was news to me. Bella blushed even deeper.

I don't know what prompted me to speak, then. It was probably a combination of the irritation that poured through me at the sight of Mike leaning in towards her, as if he had exclusive rights to her attention, the death glare from Alice that told me without words that I was coming whether I liked it or not, and the mistake I made of looking into Bella's amazing eyes. I felt my mouth open without any instruction from me. "You should come, Bella. It'll be fun." And then I was back to drowning in the depths of her fathomless brown eyes. Not just brown. Hot chocolate. Mahogany. Coffee. So deep you could dive into them and never come back out. So beautiful you'd never want to.

"Uh… yeah. Sure. I'll come—if Charlie says I can." I was jolted out of my reverie by her angelic voice. I beamed, no doubt looking like an absolute idiot. Three days with Bella. The guy sitting across from Bella Swan at the Forks High School Cafeteria with the utterly pathetic goofy grin on his face—that's me. Yeah.

**A/N, now out of rehab and better than ever:**

**Justin:** REVIEW

**Tequila:** what he said:D


	2. Sinister Plans

**Author's Note:**

**Justin: **well, this is fastish, isn't it?

**Tequila: **mostly because it's been sitting in my notebook for ages now!

**Justin**: and she just had to type it up, I edited… and here we are:D

**Tequila**: and in other news, it will be just me in the ANs until the 5th. Of August.

**Justin**: I'm going to Cambridge!! WOOT!!

**Tequila**: but don't worry, we'll still be posting:D

**Disclaimer**: hmm… maybe if we legally changed our names to Stephenie and Meyer??

Sinister Plans…

**BPOV**

After school, I went to Alice's house to do my homework. Edward took us in his Volvo, and since Alice and Jasper wanted some… privacy… in the back, I ended up riding shotgun. He put on some classical music, one of his favorites. This was nearly always what was playing in his car, but now I worked up the nerve to comment for the first time. "Debussy."

He turned slightly. "Yeah… you, uh, know him?"

I gave a self conscious smile. "Only the stuff I like," or the stuffyou do, "Clair de Lune, and the prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune, and that's it, really."

He nodded. And then we sat in silence the rest of the way.

When we arrived at the Cullen house **–** a large, white, three-storey building designed by their mother **–** we got out of the car in similar silence. He thought I was boring; I just knew it. Alice corralled me as soon as we entered and hauled me upstairs to her room on the second floor. Edward and Jasper continued to his room on the third. I'd only ever been in there once, on my first tour of the house back in freshman year. Alice's room, however, I knew well. We quickly settled in with Lit. homework and didn't stir from her room until I left the house at 5:15. Jasper was driving me home in his car before continuing to his own house on the far other side of town. We were quiet, on the drive back; I was thinking and Jasper was never verbose.

He did, as we were pulling up in my driveway, murmur, "I think you'd have fun, if you went." I nodded, thanked him for the ride, and hopped out.

When I went up to my room, there were four emails in my inbox. There was one from Alice, the text of which was liberally spiced with "!!", "XD", "OMG", and "?!". There was one from my mother, describing her week in New York City. She left her wallet in a taxi. Three times. There was one from Tyler, asking if would be interested in seeing a movie with him next weekend— I declined. And there was a long email from Jessica, detailing the plans for the party. I read through it quickly. We would all follow her in our cars to her home after school on Friday, and then her mom would drive us down to the beach house. We should pack for three days, and be sure to remember comfy PJs, hiking and rain gear, and a swimsuit. I raised my brows at the last item. A swimsuit? Unless the weather changed rather dramatically, I could not imagine anyone wanting to swim in the Pacific this weekend. We should also bring something to do in the car, and anyone who wanted to was welcome to burn a CD.

I still had to talk to Charlie. He would be reluctant, but he would capitulate eventually**,** especially if I told him Alice was going. He adored Alice; I think she reminded him of Renee. But making some of his favorites for dinner tonight couldn't hurt. I stood up and trotted downstairs to the kitchen, I tripped, got out the fish in the fridge, and began prepping.

**APOV**

This. Was. Infuriating. The sexual tension at this lunch table was thick enough to cut with a knife. Ben and Angela were staring at each other. Jessica was staring at Mike, Mike and Tyler were drooling over Bella, and Bella and Edward were carefully not looking at one another. I could feel the matchmaking itch in my fingers.

Unfortunately, so could Jasper, who reached over and squeezed my hand in a silent caution. He was always telling me to back off, to let things happen alone, and I tried, I really did. But Edward and Bella had bee acting like idiots for nearly two years, and I'd been patient and waited, but I. Was. Done. They would be dating by prom or I would get violent. Sadly, I couldn't break my Hippocratic Oath to each of them (they made me promise not to tell the other about their feelings). There had to be another way…

As I mused, Jessica started chatting about her upcoming beach party. Perfect. Ben and Angela had come together during a house party Jessica threw last year. Admittedly, I'd had to lock them in the laundry room for three hours to effect the romance, but it had happened. Though _I _thought three hours was excessive. It _should've_ taken only fifteen minutes, with the levels of lust that had been building around them previously. This would happen, too, as long as Edward and Bella were both there.

Which could be an issue. Neither of them had ever been to one of Jessica's beach parties, and judging from the excuse Bella was currently spouting, she wasn't planning on going. I shot a glance at Edward.

"Come on, Bella, you're seventeen—live a little!" Tyler was so irritating.

I leaned over to my best friend and, shooting a glare at Mike, who was leering at her, stage-whispered "I'll be there—and so will Edward." I stared fixedly at my brother, trying to use by twin telepathy to tell him that we _would_ be going. I would have enough to do convincing Bella.

He glanced at me, and then turned to Bella. "You should come, Bella."

I. Love. My. Twin. What initiative! What bravery! What valor!

She was saying yes, and I knew I couldn't let this lie. There was a significant chance, I could see it now. Jasper and I will make Bella ride in the front with Edward on the way home. They will talk. Romance will bloom!!

I pulled Jasper aside into a small hallway on our way to Pre-Calculus. I really hoped he wasn't going to be stubborn about this.

He gave me a concerned look. "Alice, I can practically feel the excitement pouring out of you—what's going on?"

"Nothing you need to worry about Jazz." He just looked at me. I gave in. "Fine, IwantBellatorideshotgunafterschooltoday."

"Why?"

"So that… what started happening at lunch today can…keep happening."

He sighed, but nodded**.** I jumped up and kissed him full on the lips. He looked a bit surprised at first, but after a moment or two returned my kiss with enthusiasm. Pshht… math… Who needs Pre-Calc, anyway?

--

After school, I yanked Jasper to the back seat, and blocked Bella, who tried to follow.

"I need some... time, with Jasper. You ride shotgun."

She blinked a few times, then obeyed. I smiled. It's so nice to have docile friends.

I really did talk to Jasper **–** our two**-**year anniversary was coming up, and we hadn't decided how to celebrate quite yet **–** but I could not avoid hearing what was going on up front.

Two measly little SENTENCES?! What was the matter with those two?! They really did need my help.

I was thinking, hard, the entire time Bella and I were doing our work. When she and Jasper left, I went back up to my room to email her before she got home. I was very hyperactive by this point, and I probably got a wee bit exuberant in my email, but that wasn't important. What I needed to do now was confrontthe brother in his lair. I mean room.

Honestly, though, he was practically a hermit up there. I had to knock very loudly for a long time before he finally opened the door. He scowled at me. I scowled right back.

"What were you doing? You were so great at lunch, and I handed you an opportunity—on a silver platter! An entire car ride and all you said was ONE sentence?! Come _on_, Edward, what's the—"

"You think I don't know? I sat there like… like an idiot!" He fell silent for a moment. "She knows Debussy. Not just Clair de Lune: prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune!" I nodded. "She knows Debussy, and she listens to Linkin Park." He asked me what had been in her CD player every time I went over to her house. "Alice…I…" he paused, and took a deep breath, "when she smiles, I can't move, can't think except about how beautiful her smile is, or her laugh, or her eyes. I can't compose anything that isn't about her, any more. I can't fall asleep without thinking about her, she's the first thing that comes to my mind in the morning—Alice, I _dream _about her! This scares me, but I'm in far too deep to back out… what do I _do_?"

I smiled. "You do everything I tell you during that party, and it'll happen. I'd bet money on it."

He laughed. "And you know I never bet against you, Alice!"

**BPOV**

My sinister (ish) plan was working! Charlie loved the fish, and since there was a game on tonight **–** some kind of basketball… thing** –** he was in a great mood by the time dinner was over.

"Ch—Dad?" Whoops.

"Yes, Bells?"

"Umm… I've received an invitation, today, from Jessica Stanley."

"Hmmm?"

"To her beach-house, for a three-day thing." The words "house" and "party" were probably not a good idea. "I was wondering if I could go?"

He frowned slightly. "Well, aren't you a little young—"

"Dad, Jessica's mom will be there, I promise, and I am seventeen." He still looked unhappy. I played my ace. "Alice will be there."

"Oh." There was a moment of silence. "Well…I suppose…if you, ah, assure me that your behavior will be, ah, responsible, then yes."

"I can go?!"

He nodded. I jumped up and gave him a hug. Then I ran upstairs to respond to Jessica and Alice's emails. House party, here I come!

**A/N back again after hip surgery and better than ever (than ever):**

**Justin**: Tequila, where do those little things you put after the "A/N" COME from?!

**Tequila**: the dark and scary depths of my mind… --creepy grin--

**Justin**: oookay… sorry I asked… anyway, I get back on the 3rd and then we both plan to be busy for at least two days with BREAKING DAWN

**Tequila**: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

**Justin**: but we will then return to our regular updating thingy!!


	3. Antici SAY IT pation

BPOV

**Author's Note:**

**Tequila:** ummmm… HI!!

**Tequila**: hahaha, hi again:D

**Tequila**: this is sooooo cool… an entire A/N ALL FOR ME!!

**Tequila**: uh, Justin said to say hi… I think… or something like that…

Tequila: sorry that it took so long… house being repainted means computer MIA

**Tequila**: anyway, here's the chapter!!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it… but mebbe Justin does and he's been holding out on me?!

Antici… _SAY IT_… pation

**BPOV**

It was raining the next morning, but even that couldn't dampen my excitement. I was going to Jessica's house party! Edward was coming. I was even early to school. I ducked under an overhand to await Alice's arrival. It came quickly—Edward's Volvo pulled up and she and Jasper hopped out only a few minutes after I had entered the lot. She bounced over to me, dragging Jazz behind her, while Edward remained in the car. Like I said, a loner.

Alice started talking when she reached me, and I swear she didn't stop all through Lit. Then it was exactly the same thing with Jessica in Trig. 20th Century World History was a welcome break—Angela was glad I was coming, but didn't need to talk about it as incessantly. Lunch was more of the same, everyone excited about the seniors return tomorrow and the beach trip this weekend.

Biology was always both the best and the worst period of my day. It was the best in that I got to sit next to Edward for an hour. It was the worst in that I had to sit next to Edward for an hour. I was fairly good at science, and so was he, so there was plenty of unused time that could stretch into awkward silences if I wasn't careful. The temptation to stare at his angelically perfect face was also an issue, as was the apoplexy he gave me every time his hands brushed mine, and the trance-like state I tended to fall into at the sound of his voice. But overall, it was a chance to talk to him, a chance to drink in the heady excitement I received merely from being in his presence, to rejoice in his existence, and to dissect things. Not that we did that too often**;** Mr. Banner was lazy. Finally, all that remained was Gym, which was, as usual, horrid. I consoled myself with Jessica's house party. Three days.

--

When I arrived home that night, I had to force myself to focus on my homework, concentrate fiercely on dinner, lock my mind down with mundane constraints when it wanted so badly to drift away to Edwardia. Edward land… the place where my mind went whenever I wasn't thinking, as sort of a floating limbo of Edward Cullen. A running montage of all the times he'd smiled at me—specifically at me (34 times), touched me—during a Biology lab didn't count (11 times), laughed at something I'd said (7 times), winked at me (4 times). Edward and I together at Jessica's beach house for 4 days. I would get to see him every single day. Even when I slept over at the Cullen's **–** which was often **–** I didn't usually see him. He stayed up on the third floor and I hung out with Alice on the first two stories of the Cullen house. Sometimes he came down to dinner, and when he did I had to forcibly remind myself to eat instead of staring at him like some sort of lunatic. Once, just to be silly, Alice had slowly moved all of her snap peas – she hated snap peas – over onto my plate and I'd eaten them completely without noticing, concentrating fiercely on NOT STARING AT EDWARD. She thought it was hilarious. I'd been pathetically glad that Edward hadn't noticed. But that would have required him noticing me, which was…rare. Extremely rare.

I was jolted out of my suddenly gloomy thoughts by the shrill sound of the phone.

"Hello, Swan household."

"Bells?"

"Emmett! Hi! I though you weren't going to be back till late!"

"Silly Bella, it _is_ late."

I glanced up at the clock. 10:43. "Oh. Whooops. So how was it?"

"It was great—we toured campus and everything, and Rose and I really like it."

"I'm so glad—lord, but I'm going to miss you next year."

"I'll come back for holidays, don't you worry Bella."

I sighed. Life in Fork just wouldn't be the same without Emmett McCarty watching my back. We'd been friends for longer than I could remember, and our family photo albums were full of huge Emmett with tiny Bella toddling after him, me desperately trying to keep up. He'd been a sort of surrogate big brother for me, and he'd only tired to tell me I was too young once. I had been eleven, he'd been thirteen, and he'd informed me with all the inborn arrogance of the preadolescent male that I was too little to climb the big elm tree in his backyard. Too stubborn to admit he was right, I'd managed to get up into the tree—and broke my left leg falling out. His mother had been furious, but she directed her wrath solely at him. And no one wanted Mrs. McCarty mad at them. Emmett was the youngest of seven kids and by the time she'd gotten to him, her anger would have put a grizzly bear to shame. He'd been banned from television for a week and his ice-cream privileges had been revoked for two.

"I know… but Forks won't be the same without Swan and McCarty, partners in crime."

"Excuse me? McCarty and Swan."

"Swam and McCarty."

"McCarty first."

"Swan first."

"McCarty."

"Swan."

"McCarty."

"Swan!"

"McCarty!"

"Swan!"

"McCarty times infinity."

"Swan times infinity plus one. Ha!"

"You play dirty, Bells."

"I learned from the master, Emmett. I learned from the master."

"Hmm… the master, huh? I want to meet this master."

"Sure, Em, we'll sit with him at lunch."

"How will I know who he is?"

"Easy, Em, he'll be the one with the gorgeous blonde sitting on his lap."

"Gorgeous, huh?"

"Yeah, gorgeous… will Rosalie be jealous?"

"I dunno, Bella, somehow I don't think so."

"Really? 'Cuz I would have to say that this blonde is at least as gorgeous as she is…"

"Wow! I think I'll have to meet this girl!"

There was a beat, and then we both started out laughing. "Okay, I've gotta go now—it's almost 11 and we've got school tomorrow."

He sighed. "Goodnight, mom."

I giggled, "and don't forget to wash your face, mister."

"Night Bells."

"Goodnight, Mr. McCarty." I trudged upstairs and got ready for sleep. I flopped down on my bed. Two days.

--

The next day, when I walked outside, there was Rosalie's beautiful BMW convertible waiting in my driveway.

"Hey Bella—surprise!"

"Hi Emmett, hi Rosalie."

She nodded from behind the wheel, and smiled. I hopped in the back seat. "Thanks, you guys."

"No worries, Bells, happy to save your bucket of bolts another trip."

I scowled. I knew my truck was old, and Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice—all car aficionados—had begged me to get a new one numerous times. But my truck ran fine, if slowly and rather loudly. "Be nice, Emmett—my truck is a senior citizen!"

He only snorted. We chatted about the colleges they'd viewed, discussing the pros and cons of Dartmouth, Oberlin, WashU. Rosalie was an engineering major, and Emmett couldn't decide between theoretical physics and organic chemistry—knocking things over and blowing things up.

When we pulled up in front of the school Alice and Jasper were sitting on his motorcycle, making out. I flinched. Waaay more information then I ever wanted to know about Jasper Whitlock Hale's kissing technique. Waaaaaaay more.

I tapped Alice on the shoulder. "Alice, sorry to… ah…bother you," she pulled free and blinked up at me, "but I was wondering if you could go over the Trigonometry homework with me?" She'd done Trig a year early back when they lived in L.A., and so had Edward. She'd know what I'd done wrong.

She smiled. "I'm rather busy, Bella. Why don't you ask Edward?" I blushed. Alice never stopped needling me about my rather pathetic crush on her twin brother. She only smiled wider.

"Fine." I stamped over to where Edward was sitting in his Volvo, and tapped on the passenger's seat window. He jumped a bit and rolled down the glass. "Hey, Bella."

Stupid blush. "Hi, Edward—sorry, but I'm slightly confused about the Trig homework, and Alice is… uh… busy."

We both glanced over to where Jasper and Alice had enthusiastically resumed their earlier activity. He smiled crookedly. "Sure, Bella," and leaned over and shoved the door open, "hop on in."

I sat down gingerly in the seat—I'd had a rather embarrassing fall last night which had resulted in bruising in an equally embarrassing place.

"It's number 27—is the tangent line cos(x) here, or—"

"No, see where you got confused in up here: look, when you distributed at the very beginning…" he bent over, showing me, and his gorgeous hair brushed my shoulder. I stopped breathing. Oh, Lord.

I stammered some stupid, incoherent excuse and got out of the car before I snapped and jumped him. I walked, shaking back over to where Alice now sat alone. I couldn't even have a civil conversation alone with him—way to go, Swan.

**EPOV**

When Alice knocked on my door at seven, I was already up. I was a light and infrequent sleeper at the beset of times, but since Bella had announced on Tuesday that she would be coming to Jessica's party this weekend, I had been ever more restless. I'd finally fallen asleep at around two, tossed and turned for four hours, and given up half an hour earlier. She barged in just when a great song began to play. I held up a hand. She waited; after seventeen years, my sister knew that I was serious about my music. When it was done, I switched off the stereo. "Yes?"

"Edward, time to wake up!"

"Alice. I'm awake."

"I know that, silly, but it wouldn't feel _right_ to go down to breakfast without waking you up!"

I sighed. Alice with her little 'rituals.' She'd stared singing the wake-up song next—

"The sun has got his hat on," Good. "Hip-hip-hip-hooray," God. "The sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play." Not this. "Good morning, sunshine!"

"Good morning, Alice. Now please go away."

She skipped up next to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Mom's making waffles…" (With Nutella? ;D)

I loved waffles. A lot. "I'll be right down."

She smiled, and tapped the side of her nose. "I thought you might."

Stupid psychic twin sister. I threw a pillow at her, and she shrieked. "Bet you didn't see _that_ coming!"

She glared at me for a moment, and then began to giggle. I joined in. it was nice to start the day with laughter.

The hall intercom buzzed. "Mary Alice! Edward Anthony! Your waffles are getting cold!" mom reprimanded us. I jumped to my feet and raced won the hall—I wanted my waffle!

--

Jasper was picking Alice up on his motorcycle, so I had my Volvo to myself on the way to school—which meant I could play my music without Alice whining. I arrived roughly 15 minutes early, Alice and Jasper right behind me. I shut off the music and sat with my eyes closed. I was exhausted.

_Tap, tap._ I jumped—Bella was standing outside, tapping gently on the passenger seat window. I lunged over to roll it down. "Hey, Bella."

Good, I sounded calm, I sounded cool, and I didn't sound like I had been dreaming about her three hours ago. She blushed delicately. God, she was so crazy beautiful when she blushed.

"Ah, hi, Edward, sorry, but Alice is—busy." I glanced back and saw my sister kissing her boyfriend… eagerly. Great. Bella wouldn't even be willing to speak to me unless Alice was unavailable.

I gave a slightly twisted smile, "Sure, Bella." I would take her any way I could get her. I opened the door for her, as best I could, "hop on in,H" Anything to get you closer to me. My car had smelled like her—strawberry and lavender and freesia—for two whole days after she'd come home with Alice on Monday.

She sat down reluctantly. Damn. I should have gotten out of the car—she obviously didn't want to be anywhere near me. Dammit, dammit, dammit… maybe I should get out—we could go and sit on the steps. We could—

"It's number 27—is the tangent line cos(x) here" she gestured to the third line of the problem, I could easily discern where she'd gone wrong—and easy mistake to make, "No, see where you got confused in up here: look, when you distributed at the very beginning," I leaned forward to illustrate, "you mistook the constant and—" I looked up. She was frozen in the seat, and she looked terrified. "Are you okay?" Is something wrong?

"No… um… I've got to go." She looked panicked. "Sorry—I, ah, have to… talk to Mike."

Mike? She avoided Mike. She might as well just tell me to my face that she was desperate to get out of my company. "Sure. Sorry to, uh, take up—" She was gone. "Your time. Damn." I leaned back into the embrace of my seat. "Dammit, dammit, dammit…"

I looked at my reflection in the rear view mirror. "You're madly in love with the girl and she can't bear to be around you for more than 15 seconds at a time. Way to go, Cullen."

**A/N The Return of the King:**

**Tequila**: okay… just watched Lord of the Rings again… how gorgeous are Legolas and Aragorn?!

**Tequila**: all I'm saying is… yum…

**Tequila**: and is it just me or is Sam sooo much cooler than Frodo?

Tequila: Justin hates Frodo (So does Anita)… I just think he's annoying, a little…

**Tequila**: I miss Justin:(


	4. Journey to the Center of the State

**Author's Note:**

**Tequila: **ummm… this is so CONFUSING!!

**Tequila: **Justin is always the one who actually POSTS the darn chapters…

**Tequila: **I think I did this right… but if I didn't, no one's reading this, so it doesn't really matter anyway, which makes me think of the movie version of Pirates of Penzance, which is better than the operetta, in my opinion… you know, that song they stole from Ruddygore? In the crypt scene?

**Tequila: **I miss Justin…

**Tequila: **well, here's the chapter, anyway!!

**Disclaimer: **we're not making any money off of this… unless you want to pay us…

Journey to the Center of the State

**BPOV**

"Okay," Jessica grinned, "y'all get in your cars and follow me to my place—okay?" We all nodded. "You have your stuff—right?" Another chorus of nods. "Okay. See you guys there!"

As I walked towards my car, Alice sprung up from behind me and clamped herself onto my arm. "Bella—I came with Edward today, and so I was wondering if I could ride with you?"

"Sure, Alice…but how's Jasper going to get there?"

She scowled. "He's riding with Rosalie and Emmett. We're, uh, having a bit of a fight."

My eyes widened. Alice and Jasper never fought. Maybe once in the two years they'd been together. Maybe. "Are you, um, okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. I'd just like to...ride with you. On the way there."

"Sure, Alice." We hopped up into my truck.

"I mean, all the way there. It's going to be a three-hour drive, and if he asks, I promised to sit with you."

"Sure." I started my monster of a truck, and giggled. Alice was wincing at the thundering roar of my engine. "If you object that much, you shouldn't fight with Jasper."

"Bella, I don't see why you persist on driving this behemoth of a machine! Get a new car!"

I smirked. "But Jacob would be so hurt…" Jake was a friend of mine, and the previous owner of the truck.

"Jacob was ecstatic when his dad gave the truck to you, and he would be over the moon with excitement if he got to shop for a new car."

She was probably right. Jake was a brilliant—and obsessive—mechanic, and a large part of the reason that the fifty-odd years on my truck affected it so little. "Shh…" I wrinkled my nose at my best friend. "Never bring logic into an argument with me! I'm allergic to logic."

We both started to laugh then. We were third to last in the car caravan, with only Tyler's Sentra and Angela's dad's Toyota behind us. We were driving slowly**;** Jess was being careful not to lose anyone. I grinned. This would drive Rosalie and Edward crazy—they usually drove at three times the sedate thirty-five mphwe were doing now. It wasn't long before all seven cars were parked in Jessica's capacious driveway. Already out front was a ginormous, off-white van. I blinked. It was almost the size of a bus! I pulled up and turned off the truck, and Alice and I hopped out. She went over to the Volvo to grab **t**he bags and I hauled min**e** out of the back of the truck. I'd managed to fit all of my baggage into one duffle bag, albeit a rather large one, and I hoisted it off without too much difficulty. I was half-carrying, half-dragging it over to the huge white van, when it suddenly vanished from my hands. I spun, startled, and looked up into verdant emerald eyes. "Here, Bella," he said, and his voice was so intoxicatingly beautiful I stopped breathing, "I'll get this." I nodded, dumbstruck. As he walked off, lifting the bag easily, I snapped out of it. Smooth move, Swan. Can't even say 'thanks, Edward,' or just 'thanks'—way to dazzle him with your sparkling personality! Incoherent, much?

Angela grabbed my arm, startling me out of my self-castigation. "Bella! Everyone's going inside." I smiled a thank you and we went on in, through the foyer and into the huge kitchen. I'd been to Jessica's house two or three times already, and she had a great kitchen. Everyone but Emmett was already there, snacking on chips and chatting. I sat down next to Angela and Ben, and Tyler passed me a glass of Hawaiian punch. I thanked him, and dug into the chips and salsa. Lauren and Mike were talking about a Lit paper due next week, Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie were discussing cars, Jess and her mom were having a low conversation in the corner, and Angela, Ben, Tyler, and Alice were filling me in on what to expect.

"We actually drive down to Hoquiam first, so we can stop at a Safeway and get soda and candy and stuff, cuz there isn't a good grocery store in Pacific Beach," Tyler said.

"And even though it's too cold to swim, we can go and hang out on the beach," Ben added.

"Especially at night—the stars are gorgeous!" was Angela's contribution. Alice started talking about the time they'd gone bowling, and Ben was just telling me about the ninja movie we were going to rent, when Emmett came in, laughing hysterically. We all looked up.

"You guys will never believe this… there was a movie crew down the block, filming this guy in a window—and all these girls started screaming when they saw our cars parked outside, and the weirdest thing was—"

"Okay, everybody, time to go!" Jessica called.

We all stood and trotted out to the great white van. I started giggling. Alice looked at me. "Alice, I've thought of a name for the van—we can call it Moby."

She looked lost, but Jasper, only a few feet away, started to laugh as well. we were both still laughing as we went outside.

"Edward, Emmett, Ben, Bella's thought of the perfect nickname for the van—Moby Dick!"

They looked puzzled for a second, and then joined in the laughter. Angela and Tyler started to laugh too, and even Rosalie cracked a smile.

"Huh?" Mike asked.

"You know, Moby Dick, the great white whale?" Ben asked.

"Oh!" cried Alice, "That's perfect!" She, Jess, and Mike joined in the general mirth. Now Lauren was the only one not laughing, and she gave a sniff and jumped up into the van, sitting on the far side of the first row of seats. Tyler followed and sat next to her, and Mike jumped into the passenger seat. Jessica filled the final first row seat, and Alice hopped in and scooted to the far seat in the second row. Anxious to avoid sitting with Jasper, she hauled me in next to her. Rosalie and Emmett got in and went straight to the fourth, and last, bank of seats. Angela and Ben sat directly behind Alice and I, in the third row, and Jasper tried to sit next to me, but received a death glare from Alice and sat next to Ben. That left only one person and two seats left.

Oh. God.

Edward jumped up into Moby Dick **–** I was rather proud of that one **–** and sat down right next to me. _Right_ next to me, as in, almost the entirely of this thigh pressed to mine, and his shoulder bumping into me, and I did not think I could survive three hours of this. He reached over to buckle his seatbelt and his face **–** and lips **–** were inches from mine for a brief, beautiful moment. I forgot to breathe. Make that no way in hell I would survive three hours of this.

His fingers brushed mine when he clicked the seat belt buckled, and I felt my heart start to do gymnastics. He looked down at where our hands were touching and moved back sharply, he scooted right so that we were no longer touching. Great. I repulsed him.

As we pulled out of the driveway and began the trip I sat silently. I was _not_ going to cry. I was _not_ going to cry…

**EPOV**

I was the last one to enter the belly of the whale…Moby Dick! She was genius—so completely out of my league it hurt to think about it. And I wish I could say that I was calm and polite about having to sit next to her. I was—on the outside. On the inside I was ecstatic.

I was never this close to her—in Biology there was always at least six inches of space between us—and now she was pressed up against me. So close I could smell her**;** her leg and arm touching mine. When I buckled my seatbelt I could have kissed her, and when our fingers brushed I nearly did—that was what awakened me from my Bella-proximity-induced stupor, and I scooted back as if I had been burned. Three hours off this torture? I wouldn't survive. She slumped in her seat, obviously depressed. She was that upset by the idea of sitting with me for 120 minutes. Great. Did I even _want_ to survive? I turned to stare at the back of Jessica's head.

Mike had jumped into the passenger seat, and as a result, he was now in charge of the music during our trip. I winced. Wonderful. I was fairly sure being taken out and shot right now would be preferable than sitting here, feeling the discomfort coming out of Bella, and having my eardrums assaulted by whatever Mike thought was appropriate road trip music. I wasted a moment or two on pleasant daydreams involving Bella weeping over my grave, confessing her undying love for me to a teary Alice, but that's all they were. Daydreams. I was fully prepared to sit in a brown study for the entire journey, when I saw Alice leaning back. Bella was slumped forward, and couldn't see the facial contortions my sister was undergoing. And the twin-telepathy was working again. I could practically hear Alice's irate voice, telling me to TALK TO HER.

I shook my head almost imperceptibly. No way. She**'**d been clear enough in her disappointment at having to sit with me**.** I wasn't about to embarrass myself by foisting a one-sided conversation upon her.

Alice's glare got, amazingly, even more violent. She was now listing all of the disgusting pop and country songs she would play at top volume to punish me. I ignored her. Her eyes narrowed. She was now telling me that if I didn't say something to Bella NOW, my CD collection would suffer a death worse than fate.

I glared right back, silently promising retribution to her closet for any pain enacted on my music. She sighed. Then her eyes lit with demonic fire. I gulped. What was her devious little mind conniving about now?

She flicked her eyes _significantly_ towards Bella, then raised an eyebrow and moved her mouth faintly. She would tell Bella. She wouldn't. She smirked in triumph.

I hate my sister. She is the most malicious, evil, sneaky, vile—oh God, she's going to do it. "Uh, Bella, um… did you burn a CD?"

She looked at me like I'd grown another head. Stupid question, Edward! She answered, though—she smiled! "I didn't burn one, but, I brought the latest Muse album."

Be still, my heart. Debussy to that? It wasn't until she smiled that I realized that last sentence had come out aloud.

"Yeah, I know, kind of unusual, huh?"

"Better than boring."

She smiled again. I love my sister. "I dunno, Bella," my angel of a twin chimed in. "What about you, Angela: unusual or boring?" she twisted in her seat to look directly behind her, to where the shy girl sat.

"Um… unusual over boring, but blending in over standing out."

"Hmm… let's play 'would you rather!'" Alice cried. "Everybody—would you rather… eat this car, or carry it?!"

"Carry it!" from Emmett and Tyler, as well as Lauren and Jasper.

"Eat it!" from Mike, Bella, Ben, and Angela.

"Well? Rosalie? Jess? Edward?"

"Carry it," from Rosalie.

"Eat it," from me.

"I dunno… mom would kill me if I ate Moby, right?" Her mom laughed. "So, carry it, I guess."

"Angela's turn!"

She laughed. "Uh… would you rather watch a _really _bad movie, or act in one. _Really _bad."

"Watch!" yelled Rosalie, "I could close my eyes!"

"No, really _watch_!"

"Oh… still. Watch. I don't want the world to see me being stupid."

"Watch!" howled Emmett.

"Act," was Ben, Mike, Jasper, and I. Everyone else, except Alice, went with watch. She was undecided, and finally went with… "watch."

Ben asked if we would rather break a leg or our writing arm. Bella chose leg. Rosalie**,** if we would go too slow or too fast. Bella went with slow. Emmett, would we rather wrestle a bear or a snake. She thought bear. Jess, would we rather kiss a movie star or our kindergarten crush. She chose movie star. I chose the crush—a girl named Katie, I think. Rosalie got away with both: her kindergarten crush was Robert Redford. Lauren wanted to know whether we would have a hangnail or a bad breakout**. **_Huh?_ Tyler whether we would rather be in a car or a boat accident. Bella chose boat. Jasper asked vampire or werewolf **–** Bella and I both went with vampire **–** and Mike let us choose between a pity date and no date at all**;** she said no date. Then it was Bella's turn.

"Okay, blind or deaf?"

"Deaf!" came from Alice, Lauren, Mike, Jessica, and Rosalie.

"Blind!" from Angela, Jasper, Tyler, Ben, Emmett, and I.

And then it was my turn. "Alright… would you rather find true love, but be separated by fate, or never find it at all?"

"Depends," Rosalie called from behind, "never find _any_ love, or never find true love?"

"Never find true love. You might even live happily, but not with true love."

Bella, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were the only ones who choose to find true love… fascinating.

The car trip continued with games (alphabet, guess who, ghost) music (luckily, there were several decent CDs and we were only rarely subjected to Mike's radio selections) and general merriment. After about two hours and forty minutes, we pulled into a Safeway in Hoquiam.

Jessica's mother twisted in the seat to view the twelve teenagers she was housing for the next three days. "Alright, kids, we're going to go and get our supplies for the weekend!"

"Whee!!" my sister started squealing… glad she was enjoying herself…

"We have to get candy—lots and lots of candy!" Mike was practically salivating at the thought. How disgusting.

"And chocolate," added Jasper from behind me, very quietly.

"And we really have to get some Little Debbie Rolls," Tyler said** A/N: that one's for you, Fish ;D **with a beaming smile on his face.

"This is so fun!" Alice was bouncing now. I blinked. What was so fun about shopping? "It's hysterical—Rosalie, remember that—"

"Stupid woman!!" Rosalie, Angela and Jessica shrieked together.

"Huh?" said the angel sitting beside me.

"Okay," Jessica began, "last year, we came to this same Safeway, and we were getting food," she paused for breath, "and it was awesome, we were having tons of fun,"

"And so maybe we got a teensy bit carried away," Angela picked up, "just a bit, and we were racing the shopping carts down an isle,"

"An empty one!" my sister cut in.

"There was no reason for anyone to complain," Rosalie added from the back seat, "but this bitch of an employee started to get up in our face about inappropriate behavior—"

"And Emmett takes one look at her, and opens his big eyes wide, and says—"

"Do you have a _problem_ with our multi-ethnic foster family!?"

"And the woman got all shocked, and stammered something about how Safeway was open to all customers," Angela grinned reminiscently.

"But then she started following us around the store, glaring, stupid bitch," Rosalie added,

"And even when we were done, and driving away she came out to stand on the curb and _watch_ us drive off,"

"And Mrs. Stanley rolled down the window and flipped the woman off!"

"It was hilarious!" my twin finished with a huge smile. **A/N: yeah… this actually happened… sort of. We didn't actually say the multi-ethnic foster family line, but we planned it and had a friend practice saying it w/ big bambi eyes… and the bit in the parking lot really did happen…(ANITA: We flipped her off to "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers, cause we're classy like that) we're so bad:D**

I raised my brows. Alice hadn't mentioned this little escapade.

Jessica's mom rapped on the door. I hadn't even noticed her getting out of the car. I reached over and opened it, and then hopped out onto the pavement. Without thinking, I extended my arm back to assist Bella.

She touched _my arm_.

She rested her weight on _my arm_.

And used my arm—_my arm_—to hop down from the van. As in, contact. With my arm. And her hand. Touching.

I think I died. Right there. She looked up, probably saw the fatuous delight on my face, and blushed. The beautiful flush lengthened down her neck and collarbone, to beneath the demure neckline of her shirt. She shivered then, and I hauled off my coat and wrapped it around her. She should never be cold. And it was chilly—although today had been very warm, it was cooling off now that it got darker, and it would probably dip down to the low forties tonight.  
When we got inside, Emmett raced to grab a shopping cart, and passed it to Mike. He got another for himself, and then we were all trooping throughout the store, laughing and grabbing food off the shelves. This was actually rather… fun.

**BPOV**

I stared blushing when Edward handed me down out of the car, and when he gave me his jacket… it smelled like him. I probably looked like an idiot, grinning and flushing and sniffing his jacket. As soon as we entered the store I gave it back to him. Then everyone started running around, joking, acting like they were little kids. We pushed the carts up and down aisles, wheels squealing at sharp turns and sudden stops. Jessica's mom didn't even try and control the situation; she just laughed and said to remember that whatever we got here would have to hold us for the entire three days, so don't overdo it on the junk food.

I don't think anybody listened. We got frozen pizza, and the ingredients for lasagna **–** Jessica's mom, who had by this time told us to call her Cynthia because Mrs. Stanley made her feel old, said we could make it together **—**and for a barbeque, as well as pancake mix, Eggo waffles, fresh fruit, cookies, bottled water, frozen chicken nuggets and fries, orange juice, coca cola, chips and salsa, lemonade, and lots and lots and lots of candy. Lots of candy. We had Hershey's bars, Skittles, Starbursts, Raisinets, M&Ms, Milky Ways, Twixes, Mentos, and more stuff**;** candy I'd never even heard of, more candy in one place than I've ever seen. And we got marshmallows and powdered hot chocolate and graham crackers –Mrs. Sta—Cynthia said we might be able to make a beach bonfire, if the weather cooperated **–** as well, enough for a small army. By the time we finally arrived at the check-out counter, we had filled both shopping carts, and everyone had a bag to take to the van. Most of the guys ended up with two, Emmett with four**.** It was a bit of a tight squeeze with all of our bags still in the trunk, and the empty seat in the back row was soon stuffed with groceries, as was the remaining crevices where our bags weren't. We also put grocery bags under each seat and on several people's laps.

"Sorry, kids, but we've got another forty-five minutes of this before we get to Pacific Beach!"

A few people grumbled a little bit, but then Mike slid my Muse album into the CD player and most of us started singing along. Mike started drumming on the window, only mildly hampered by the grocery bag on his lap, and Tyler and Emmett were air-guitaring like pros. Then Alice and Angela and Jess started lip-syncing, and I began to laugh. I could barely breathe, and I fell onto Edward. The sudden jolt of contact startled me and I fell silent and sat up.

We didn't touch again. He stared out the window and I began to chat with Alice, who was still unhappy with Jasper for some unfathomable reason—she would only mutter that she'd tell me later. We turned around and began to talk to Angela and Ben about what movies we should rent the next day, and pretty soon the whole car was arguing and laughing about action, romance, comedy, drama. Ben **–** no surprise there **–** was lobbying hard for a new ninja movie, Lauren desperately wanted a romantic comedy that had just been released onto DVD, and Rosalie, Emmett, and Tyler were united in demanding at least one action-adventure. I proposed Indiana Jones, which led to several minutes of all the girls sighing over Harrison Ford and a very disgruntled male population of the car. Alice and I united over a desire for the classics—she suggested Star Wars, I offered Pride & Prejudice, the new version. I personally much preferred the six-hour A&E with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth…but I thought the Kiera Knightly version might go over better.

I was just beginning, maybe, to get used to the Edward overload, when we pulled up in a driveway. Here we where.

Here goes nothing.

**A/N now with FABRIC SOFTENER:**

**Tequila**: okay, I know that the description of who is sitting where in the van can be confusing, so here's a little diagram… if unnecessary, don't bother to check it out:D

Rosalie Angela Alice Lauren Jessica's Mom

Emmett Ben Bella Tyler (front seat)

Jasper Edward Jessica Mike

**Tequila**: gaaaaah… my muse is being mean to me!! I think this one is mostly Erato and Thaleia with a hint of Calliope… but they're all being recalcitrant!

**Tequila**: and Melpomene is intruding in my thoughts… her and Clio…


	5. Reception

**Author's Note:**

**Tequila**: JUSTIN!!!! YOU'RE BAAAAACK!!!! --TACKLE--

**Justin:** I cahn't breathe!!! --note new trace of british accent!--

**Tequila**: sooo excited:D

**Justin: **-hoarse gasp-

**Tequila:** and I posted like _three_ chapters, and I didn't eat anything alive, and I only killed like, one person, and they were mean so that doesn't count, and I fired a trebuchet, and I read this _really_ good book that I wanna tell you all about, and I wrote some other stuff and_ CAN YOU EDIT IT NOW?!?!_

**Justin:** -turning blue-

**Tequila:** Justin? Justin? aren't you excited too!? Why aren't you _answering me???_

**Disclaimer**: well, our birthday's are coming up… if anyone wants to get me or Justin the rights to Twilight… we wouldn't say no…

Reception

**BPOV**

It was a beautiful house. Even in the chaotic mix of emotions that sitting next to Edward for three (THREE) entire hours had created, I was calm enough to notice that it was amazing—like a modern castle, if that made any sense. The exterior was smooth grey stone, and it was shaped almost exactly like a medieval keep. Moby Dick curved smoothly up the gravel drive and stopped in front of the house. We all tumbled out and went to grab our bags in the gathering twilight. As soon as the trunk was opened, Emmett leaned in and grabbed Rosalie's huge duffel bags, as well as his own bag. He was the first to follow Jessica's mother to the house, and Rosalie walked along after him, looking around and smiling cheerfully. Jasper was about to offer the same service to Alice, but as soon as he touched her twin bags (they were a shocking yellow) she glared at him. Edward ended up taking her bags with a sigh of exasperation after she struggled to lift them for a moment or two, and began hauling them towards the house. I waited while Lauren snatched her two bags and Jessica took her backpack (she already had a majority of the things she would need at the house) and then while Ben picked up his and Angela's duffels (I was pleased to note that Angela had also limited herself to a single bag). I swung mine over my shoulder and began to head down the short flagstone path from the end of the driveway to the front door.

I was only half way down the short walk when someone lifted my bag off my shoulder from behind. I spun, hoping foolishly that it would be Edward again.

"Hey, Bella, a gentleman doesn't let a lady carry a bag like that!" Mike grinned at me.

I smiled back. He meant well, at least. "Thanks Mike, that's sweet."

We continued up the path together, and very soon entered the foyer. For the first few feet into the house, the ceiling was two stories tall—then we stood at the base of a wide staircase leading upwards and to the right, to the second storey. Ahead was a large, open room with a sofa, chairs, and small circular table in the corner. On the far side of the room was a large wall of French doors leading out onto the lawn. We could see a sprinkling of stars coming out already, and the moon rose above the trees on the edge of the manicured grass.

Everyone else was kicking off their shoes and dumping them in a pile by the wall immediately to our left. I followed suite, and then waited for Jessica to explain the sleeping arrangements. I did not have long to wait.

"Okay, you guys, since we have a few more people this time," she nodded to Edward and I, and smiled, "who sleeps where is a tiny bit different. For the guys, we just added another mattress downstairs, for Edward—so Tyler and Mike will have the upstairs guest bedroom again," the two boys grinned and high-fived one another, "and the rest of you are relegated to the basement," she pointed, smiling, to the hallway that led right, directly in front of the stairs and parallel to them. Jasper, Emmett, and Ben hoisted their things and headed off that way, Edward trailing behind.

"This time, since Bella's here, I'm gonna put Lauren in my room on the trundle bed, okay?" The blonde nodded and smiled enthusiastically. Obviously, that was good news to her. "And Bella will stay in the girl's room with you."

Alice bounced over and hugged Jessica, grinning, "Yay!! I'm so excited that we're here… we'll help Bella get settled, don't worry!"

Jessica and Lauren walked up the staircase, Tyler and Mike following behind and helping to drag Lauren's bags, and Alice and Angela led me down the same hallway the boys had vanished into only a few seconds before.

It was a short hallway, it turned out, moving past two doors (laundry room, and bathroom) and 'ending' (without any walls or doorways, it was hard to say it ended) at a short square open hallway thing, off of which five doors led. One was directly under the staircase, and was the steps down to the basement, where Ben, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper would be staying, and the two on the opposite side from the bathroom door were another bathroom and a linen closet. The last two doors, against the right wall of the house as we had entered, were two guest rooms, one of which was to be ours. Alice led the way, and with the rest of us following close on her heels and carrying our bags, we entered.

It was a rectangular room, containing little in the way of furniture. The door was on the far right side of the long wall, and immediately to your right as you entered, just against the shorter wall, was a bunk-bed which was straight away claimed by Rosalie.

"Top bunk!" she yelled, and dumped her bag right in front of the bed. I looked to my left. Along the wall with the door was a chest of drawers, and another bunk-bed identical to the first. Ahead, the other long wall held a long window, a set of drawers built into the wall, and in the farthest corner from the door, a closet.

"Umm… I should probably take a bottom bunk, I can be pretty… restless… when I sleep." Restless was an understatement. I talked, rolled, and kicked like a mule when I was dreaming. Alice giggled. She knew very well that I was an uncomfortable person to share a bed with. If I was on a top-bunk I'd rattle the whole bed. I walked over the other bunk-bed. Rosalie intimidated me. "I can take the bottom bunk of this one, if nobody minds?"

"Sure, Bella," Angela nodded gently, "and Alice, do you mind if I take the other top bunk? I get a little claustrophobic, you know, underneath?"

"That's fine with me… if Rosie doesn't mind sharing with me?"

"I mind being called 'Rosie'. But not sharing the bed."

We dragged our stuff to the appropriate bed and began unpacking. We each ended up with two drawers—one in the chest and one in the wall… thing. Apparently the larger bathroom was, by tradition, the girls'. Alice and Rosalie rushed to arrange their toiletries there, and Angela briefed me on the night to come.

"Well, the first night is usually pretty tame, I mean, we're gonna rent some movies for tomorrow, but we'll just stay up chatting tonight…"

When Alice and Rosalie returned, we all ventured out into the large room I'd glimpsed before. There was a television against the staircase wall that I had been unable to see, and another door that led out to the enclosed pool. Angela said we might swim later—apparently, the water was heated. Which would be necessary, if we were going to go swimming—it was chilly, even this late into March. Everyone reconvened there quickly, and Cynthia came in with a huge plastic bowl, and opened the bags and dumped all the candy into it. There was… a lot.

"All right, kids, I'm only going to say this once: all of this has to be gone by the end of the weekend! If you leave it around here after you go… Jess and I will eat it and then who knows what'll happen! Especially to my hips!" We all laughed. "So—tonight will be pizza, because it's already almost eight and I don't have the time, energy, or resources for anything else. But we have another eight meals to go, and I figure three of 'em are breakfast, one y'all can eat out, one will be barbeque, and one we can make our own lasagna, another we'll have some pasta, and the last one'll be those chicken and fries, okay?"

We all assented. It sounded just fine to me—but then, as long as I didn't have to do the cooking, I was pretty easy to please. With just me and my dad at home, it usually came down to cook, or eat pizza. Not that I had anything against pizza. Which is good, because that's what we were having tonight. Soon.

I reached over and grabbed a Hershey's bar. Several bites of the chocolaty goodness later, Angela had pulled out a deck of cards and started dealing out to everyone except Rosalie, Jasper, and I. Lauren said she would play on Tyler's team. They started some strange card game that seemed to involve quite a lot of screaming, snacking on candy the entire time, while Jazz and Rosalie chatted about nothing in particular and I stared at Edward like an addict. He was so… gorgeous, sitting there, yelling with the rest of them, his eyes sparkling and his hair falling down on his forehead until he pushed it away gracefully. I sat back on the sofa (which was _extremely_ comfortable) and let it all wash over me, the cheerful card-playing noises (and not so cheerful: Mike was loosing loudly) and the chatter beside me. It would be nice to have a bit of a rest before dinner.

**EPOV**

We started playing cards, and while I swear I was paying attention, the fact that Bella was sitting less than two feet away from me, curled up like a kitten, was making focus difficult. She seemed to be daydreaming, staring out into nothing, and I felt this itch to know what she was thinking _about_. I was just edging towards 'desperate enough to ask her' when Cynthia called down the stairs that dinner was ready. I knew from Alice's extensive descriptions that the second floor housed a living room space, kitchen and a dining area. There were no walls on the second floor except for the exterior ones, making 'room' a little hard to define. We emerged from the staircase directly above the girls' room, and followed down a hall the mirror of the one below, which led off onto what I was informed were Jessica's room and another bathroom. We passed by the spot in the foyer where the ceiling was double-height—the hallway looked out onto that tiny area, level with the lamp that hung from the ceiling. We all sat down around a long table in the dining room/kitchen, and I ended up next to Bella (doubtless thanks to my scheming sister, who was on Bella's other side), which left me essentially paralyzed for the course of the meal, which was pizza. We ate amidst laughter, slugging cola and lemonade, chewing on pizza and each other's egos. This was unexpectedly fun, although I'd lost most of the feeling in my left leg trying to keep it from brushing up against Bella's. After dinner we retired to the downstairs room once more, playing cards and watching a little TV, talking aimlessly. Alice kept trying to steer the conversation to crushes, and she kept sending what I'm sure she thought were unobtrusive hints to me to 'go after' Bella. If that wasn't bad enough, she was sitting between us, and somehow coaxed Bella to lie down in her lap. Bella's hair was brushing my legs. Help…?

**BPOV**

When Alice asked me to lie down, my first thought was, as usual, of Edward. His leg was _right there_, and when I lay down, the top of my head was almost touching _his leg_. As in, the leg he used to walk. All the time. The leg that was _part of his body_.

I'm probably overreacting. But it's worth it.

Just then, it happened. Yes, _it_ happened.

Jessica walked into the room, carrying a small cardboard rectangular box. The box of doom.

"Okay, guys? I was thinking we could play Twister!"

Nooooooo…

"Bella? Bella are you alright?" Edward was worried about me… be still, my heart….

"Uh, guys, how about I just spin the spinner, okay?" Bella + Edward + Twister (a.k.a. the game of doom) = pain and humiliation…

I ended up sitting on the couch, holding the spinner, while they shoved the coffee table to one side so they could set out a game of Twister. Rosalie, Angela, and Ben also sat out—Angela and Ben so they could cuddle, and Rosalie because she said Twister was undignified. I half expected Lauren to sit out for similar reasons, but realized why she was playing when she took her first move as an excuse to twine herself around Edward like some sort of venomous plant, murmuring, "Oopsie!"

I don't like her at all. Luckily Edward flushed a bit and inched himself away from the annoying blonde, or I would have had to resort to violence. I spun again and again, calling out reds and greens, left hands and right feet.

Alice won, and came back to sit next to be on the couch. We talked about nothing for a while, while the game was replayed (with Alice out of the running, Tyler won the next round). As the numbers on the VCR's digital clock changed slowly from 11:02 to 11:42 to 12:32 to 12:52 to 1:22 to 1:42…

I finally stumbled into bed at 2 in the morning, having brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas trying frantically not to think about the fact that Edward was probably doing the same thing in the bathroom _just across the hall_. It didn't work—I thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it. Luckily, no one was showering that night, or I might have combusted.

We all settled down to sleep, and after a moment or two I could hear Angela's rhythmic breathing from above me. Rosalie was downstairs, 'saying goodnight' to Emmett. Alice and I were, for all intents and purposes, alone.

"So, Alice, why are you and Jasper fighting?" There was silence from the other bunk-bed. "Alice? Aaaaalice?" still nothing. "Coward."

But by that time I was already sinking into sleep.

**A/N; after Justin has been allowed to inhale:**

**Justin:** what do you say, Tequila?

**Tequila**: sorry I tried to strangle you…

**Justin**: Now that's okay, but next time, you need to be more considerate of people and their need to breathe

**Tequila:** NEXT TIME?!?! You're going away again????? --puppy eyes—

**Justin:** Umm… --hides calendar with winter break vacation plans-- No…..


	6. Bowling For Hearts

**Authors' Note:**

**Tequila:** whoa. hehe. SORRY.

**Justin: **Long time no see?

**Tequila:** i think you mean long time no update, justin :S

**Justin:** Well… at least it's good and long?

**Tequila:** and we're making a CAMEO APPEARANCE!!

**Justin:** Of a sort…

**Disclaimer: **STEPEHNIE MEYER showed up and said that we actually owned the rights to Twilight and everything… and then we woke up…

Bowling for Hearts…

**EMPOV**

Hmmm…

**EPOV**

I woke up in the morning when I rolled off the mattress and onto a hardwood floor. _Whaaa_… I remembered where I was only after staring at the wall for several disjointed seconds. I was at Jessica's, I was in the basement, and I had gotten—I glanced down at my watch—almost three hours of sleep. Not bad. I sat up, and noted that while Emmett and Ben were still dozing, Jasper was nowhere to be seen. I stood, stretched, and went looking for him, still in my pajamas.

I found him, eventually, curled up with a book on the big sofa in front of the television, wrapped in a throw. "Hey."

He glanced up. "Hey."

I sat down a few inches away from his feet. "Any good?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "It's called _Son of the Morning Star_, about the Battle of Little Bighorn. Very well written, and quite accurate."

"Isn't that a bit past your period?" Jasper was a Civil War buff, and is usual reading of choice was interminably dry histories of the 1830-1870 period.

"Yeah, but it came very well recommended. Quite worth a read."

I nodded and fell back against the sofa. "So… any idea what we're doing today?"

"Probably going into town, grab some lunch, rent a movie or two. Maybe go bowling."

"_Bowling_?"

"Yes, bowling. There's a nice little bowling place in town. Although Alice still refuses to wear the shoes."

"Mmm… what's up with—"

"Personal."

I looked at him. He was one of my best friends, unquestionably, but… "You realize that if you hurt my sister they'll never find your body, right?"

He laughed. "No worries, Edward. Alice can take care of herself."

I grinned. "I know that. Believe me, do I know that." There was a pause. "But, seriously. Never. Find. Your. Body."

Eventually, I abandoned Jasper to contemplation of his book. I returned downstairs, grabbed my clothing for the day, and ducked into the shower, which was nice. Although, if I knew my twin, she would find the bathmat a tad too small— she was very picky about bathrooms.

When I left the bathroom, toweling my hair dry, I bumped into Emmett… who was running frantically towards the hall, Rosalie chasing after him… alright…

At about nine, most of the others woke up and there was a general movement towards the kitchen, and breakfast. They had waffles, which I rejoiced in, as well as orange juice and some fruit—I was contented.

I moved out onto the balcony after eating, and sat enjoying the sunshine with Jasper. I was even more pleased. That is, until Alice and Bella came in and sat down. I could see quite well from here.

Damn. It was bad enough that Bella was sitting, less than ten feet away from me, in her _pajamas_. After all, I'd seen her in them before, rarely. But the fact that she was sitting there, _eating waffles_, was, for some odd reason, impossible to bear. I bit my lip.

Jasper turned to look at me, eyes wide. "Whoa, Edward… I can practically _feel_ that. What's _up_? You don't have a thing for…" he scanned the table, "_Lauren_, do you?"

"No!"

"Angela?"

I shook my head.

"Good lord, you're in love with Bella."

"Damn, you're good."

He shrugged. "I can't help it. Spend enough time with your sister, some of that omniscience rubs off." He stood. "Speaking of your sister," we entered the room and sat down at the table. Alice flounced off, and I winced. I didn't like having the two of them at odds with one another, not at all. It just felt… wrong. Really, really wrong.

But on the other hand, I was now eating a second breakfast. Next to _Bella Swan_. And they had waffles. And _Nutella_. Life was pretty good, actually.

**APOV**

I woke up to the sound of Rosalie's voice whispering furiously through the door. "Emmett! If you come in here before I've done my hair you will _die_. Painfully and slowly."

He laughed. "Come on, Rosie baby—"

"Don't you 'Rosie baby' me! First you _walk in while I'm in the shower_—"

"Rosalie!"

"What? What? You thought the water running and the fact that the _door was locked_ was some sort of invitation to pervy voyeurs?"

"Rose, the door was not locked!"

"Oh? Oh, really? That's the best you can come up with in the way of an apology? Calling me a _liar_?"

"No, I'm saying maybe you thought you locked it, but it opened when I turned the handle."

She hissed like an enraged cat and I winced. I'd gotten to know Rosalie pretty well since I'd moved to Forks—boyfriend's older sister, after all—and that hissing noise she was making did not bode well for Emmett. At all. I sat up carefully, trying to be quiet, and slipped out of bed. "Rose…"

She spun. "_What_, Alice?"

"Without meaning in any way to denigrate your suffering, which I'm sure was extreme…"

"Get on with it."

"Could you take this somewhere else? It's like seven in the morning… and Angela and Bella are still asleep."

She narrowed her eyes, but nodded. Then she quickly twisted the lock, yanked the door open (and by the thump, hit Emmett in the head doing so) and stalked out of the room. I flopped back onto the bed, frowning. I had managed to avoid Bella last night, but it wouldn't last long. The girl was tenacious… a coward (viz a viz my brother, at least) but a tenacious one. Damn.

I snuck out of the room at about nine, after dozing for while, and slipped into the shower. It wasn't bad, for a bathroom that _wasn't in my house_. Admittedly, I get a wee bit obsessive, but sometimes I have a reason. Some bathrooms are _disgusting!!_

This one, although with a bathmat marginally too small, and the lights that were a little too far from the mirror, was at least hygienic. And the toilet paper dispenser was the right type, which cannot be overestimated. Those disgusting little metal stick things may look nice, but the toilet paper is _always falling off onto the _floor! How disgusting can you _get_?

After a short shower (less than fifty minutes… I was quite proud of myself) I returned the room to find Angela already gone, but Bella still sleeping the sleep of the just (but cowardly). This would not do at all. Edward had come and knocked on the door while I was in the shower to tell me that breakfast was being served… and that the cut off for breakfast was ten thirty. It was… ten fifteen!

"Bella! Bellsy, Belladona, Bella Luna, Bellalicious!"

She groaned and rolled over… falling out of the bed. "GAAHH!"

Ooops.

"Um… sorry, Bella… but breakfast is going to go away soon!"

"Breakfast… huh?"

"Bella. It's morning-time. That means it's wakey-up time. Okay?"

She snorted, and sat up. "There's no need for condescension at this hour of the morning… what time is it?"

"Ten-fifteen."

"Great… eight hours of sleep."

"_Bella_, come _on_. Breakfast!"

She sighed, and stood. "Coming, Alice."

By the time we'd trudged down the hall and up the stairs, I was nearly bouncing with excitement. Breakfast _was _the most important meal of the day, after all. Only Lauren, Emmett, Ben, and Angela were still at the table by the time we arrived. But what _was_ at the table was _breakfast_.

I dropped down into a seat next to Angela, and proceeded to assemble French toast, lemonade, an apple, and some raspberries. Bella seemed to be doing the same—sans the French toast, but with the addition of a waffle… yum.

I was rather busy with my happy-French-toast-world, but I _definitely_ noticed when Jasper came through the door off the balcony and tried to sit down. I grabbed the last of the toast and left the table quickly.

* * *

By about noon, everyone was up, and dressed, and lounging in the downstairs room with the TV again. Lauren had managed to worm herself in between Tyler and Edward, and while the martyred look on my brother's face was amusing, her presumption was starting to irritate me. Was the girl _trying_ to get in the way of my genius plans?

Knowing her, probably. Drat.

"When are we going into town?"

Jess grinned. "As soon as I can convince my mom to take us. I thought we'd go bowling, grab some lunch, rent some movies, okay?"

We all agreed with varying degrees of enthusiasm. I was very fond of bowling, but I categorically refused to wear the shoes. Some things a girl just _should not have to endure_.

* * *

It turned out to be almost one before Jessica was able to convince Cynthia to take us all to town for lunch and bowling; we all piled into the van and spent the entire journey teasing Emmett, who was undergoing some sort of punishment from Rose (probably because of the bathroom incident I'd heard of this morning). Regardless of the reason why, he was wearing the most ridiculous hangdog look I'd ever seen and Rosalie had traded seats with Jasper so she didn't have to sit next to him.

Edward and Bella were still sitting next to one another, though, and things seemed to be progressing quite nicely on that particular front. Soulful glances? Check. Twitchy fingers? Check. A lovely blush on both of their faces? Check.

Yes, my work was progressing quite well indeed.

**EPOV**

By the time we got to the bowling alley (and getting there was torture enough, sitting next to Bella and trying not to breathe) my sister looked to be so thoroughly pleased with herself I was surprised she didn't spontaneously combust. She practically bounced her way out of Moby Dick and into the bowling alley, cheerfully chatting with Jessica the entire way.

"So I haven't really decided what I want my bowling name to be—"

I groaned. Alice was going to insist that we used bowling names _again_. I had hoped she had outgrown this. Years ago.

"Bowling name?" Jessica blinked.

"Yes, of course. You _never_ bowl under your own name!"

Lauren gaped. "Um, Alice?"

"For instance, I shall be bowling as Tequila Mockingbird—"

Emmett lunged forward, "And I'll be Justin Saine—"

Rosalie, still pointedly ignoring Emmett, leaned into my other side, "I always bowl as Trixie LaRue."

Ben grinned, "And I'm the TANMAN."

I blinked. Ben shrugged. "He's a little known superhero who appears in the 56th edition of—"

Angela gently covered his mouth with her hand. "And I'm going to be bowling as fish."

"Fish?"

"G-H-O-T-I. Pronounced like fish—you take the 'gh' from enough, the 'o' from women and the 'ti' from nation. Ghoti."

Bella laughed—god, her laugh was beautiful. "What should I bowl as?"

Alice smirked. "How about Anita Mann? I think that name really… _suits_ you."

Bella turned bright red, but nodded in assent.

Lauren moaned. "This is so _dumb_. Why can't I just bowl as Lauren?"

Just for that, "I think it's a great idea."

Lauren turned a dull red, but her blush was nothing compared to Bella's. A crow to a swan…

Jessica smiled, "Why don't you just bowl as, uh, Nerual?"

Lauren looked even more like a goldfish. "Wha…"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Lauren backwards. Nerual."

Jessica nodded. "And I'll be, uh, Quesadilla. I like quesadillas." She walked up to the counter where her mother was arranging our two lanes, and got her shoes. I wandered over to join her and Angela, Ben, Tyler, Jasper, and Bella. Just because I needed shoes. Not because I had glanced around, not seen Bella anywhere, and panicked slightly. At all.

Oh, hell. I couldn't even fool myself.

By the time we had all (with the exception, of course, of Alice, who had somehow managed to sweet talk the attendants into looking the other way) changed into our ridiculous bowling shoes and found our lanes, everyone had chosen 'bowling names.'

Except for me.

Tyler was Drew A. Blank, Mike was Ben Dover and Jasper was Claire Voyant. As everyone turned an expectant gaze towards me, I knew I had to think, and think fast. What in the world would be my bowling name?

"So Edward," Emmett grinned "What in the world is your bowling name?"

I had to think faster.

Against my will, my eyes flicked to a smiling Bella, and a wickedly smirking Alice. I gulped. I wanted to impress Bella, but I couldn't make it seem too obvious. It had to reflect me, but in a good light. I was _not_ going to pick a stupid name like Ben Dover.

So what did I like? Music. What did Bella like? Books. Well I liked books as well, we had some of the same taste in literary works, though I would never understand her love for _Romeo and Juliet_—

I had it.

"ZOUNDS!" I proclaimed dramatically. "ZOUNDS! is going to be my bowling name."

Bella laughed and her entire face lit up. I knew I made the right choice as I watched her eyes sparkle and her nose scrunch up just a little. Alice laughed as well and I, albeit reluctantly, turned my gaze to her.

"That's great, Edward. Type it in and we're good to go!" She said excitedly, clapping her hands together. How she could possibly be any chipper-er I had no idea.

I nodded and began pressing the large buttons on the machine. Just as I was getting to Z-O-U I was interrupted.

"Uh, Edward?" Lauren asked "You're spelling your name wrong."

"No he's not." Bella replied calmly as I continued typing (with suddenly shaking fingers). "That's how it's spelled."

"But that would make it 'zownds', not 'zoonds'" Lauren protested, looking positively mulish.

Bella shook her head. "No, you see, it's spelled Z-O-U-N-D-S but pronounced "zoonds" because it's an abbreviation of the phrase "God's wounds". Sometimes it's even spelled Apostrophe-S-W-O-U-N-D-S, but most editions of Shakespeare don't have it written that way because it's very close to looking like sounds, a word we use everyday."

This girl even knew what zounds meant. Who else would besides me would know what zounds meant? Only Bella would know. Only beautiful, angelic, perfect, darling, fantas—

"ZOUNDS! you're up," said a very satisfied Rosalie as she turned away from a perfect strike.

* * *

Two games later, one in which Emmett won first place, the other in which Angela (or rather, Ghoti) got the gold medal, and both where poor Bella scored dead last (she refused to put up the rails, even though everyone offered. Numerous times), our time was up. We quickly exchanged our borrowed shoes for our own personal ones—except Alice, of course—left the vicinity, and scrambled into Moby Dick, arguing on which team won. We had split it girls against guys, and as we won one game each, were currently in an epic battle to ensure our dominance on the bowling field—bowling lane? We argued that we won by more points—Emmett had 121 whereas Angela had 110. They in turn argued that it didn't matter, because the sum of their collective points was bigger than ours. After that they rashly declared that it also didn't matter because they would have won the next game anyway, which meant that bowling had suddenly turned from friendly competition to _war_. But war had to stop in the face of an unstoppable force sitting in the backseat. Emmett, as he loudly and frequently reminded us all, was hungry.

"I'm hunnnngry" Emmett whined for the umpteenth time.

"We know, Emmett." Jessica said irritably "we're going to a pizza place, okay?"

"Good! Pizza!" Emmett grinned agreeably. "That's cool. I like pizza."

We breathed a collective sigh of relief as Emmett finally quieted down. Our relief was short-lived.

"I'm hungry." Emmett said.

We all groaned.

* * *

By the time we arrived at the pizzeria, Emmett was bouncing off the walls. Luckily, there was one large booth that could seat all twelve of us—although things were complicated by the fact that Rosalie wouldn't sit with Emmett, Alice wouldn't sit with Jasper, Lauren was desperate to sit next to me, and both Mike and Tyler were trying frantically to finagle a seat next to Bella. And as if that wasn't enough, for some reason, Bella and Alice refused to sit next to each other (something about bad spirits and tradition. Traditionally bad spirits?) I had sat down next to Jasper, which meant Alice sat down across from me - and because of the "traditionally bad spirits," Bella, instead of sitting next to Alice (which would result in a comfortable 6 people to a side), sat down next to me... very next to me. Practically in my lap.

Meep.

I did, however, manage to choke down some rather good pizza, garlic knots and a Sierra Mist while trying not to accidentally molest the girl of my dreams by simply reaching over the table to grab a napkin.

Not that that happened.

More than twice.

I was so very, very doomed. And Alice was laughing at me again, while intermittently glaring slightly at Jasper.

It was _unnerving_, having them angry at each other. It made me almost itchy.

Or perhaps that was because Bella's thigh was pressed against mine.

Yeah, that was probably it, upon reflection. I was lucky to get out of that pizzeria alive.

I did notice, however, that Alice had pulled Jasper aside as we all figured out who owed whom money, and how much, and why and when. They had a vehement, whispered discussion and I fervently hoped that it would prove to be the resolution of their fight. Having them at odds with one another just felt _wrong_.

* * *

We all stood on the curb after lunch, looking about. Cynthia wouldn't be back with the car for another hour, which left us with time to waste. It was an attractive town, although there wasn't really much to do—a bit of a tourist trap, honestly. Everyone was arguing good-naturedly about whether to go shopping, get ice-cream, to pick out DVDs, or check out the library (needless to say, only Angela, Ben and Bella really thought that the latter was a good idea, although I would have happily gone along with it to make Bella happy). After a minute or so of cheerful chatting, Emmett pulled me aside.

"Hey, Edward, want to go check out that store over there?"

"Sure, Emmett."

As soon as we turned to corner, he grabbed my arm. "I want to grab something for Rose, and you're my cover, alright? As far as anyone knows, we'll have spent this time, uh, at that video game store." He pointed down the street.

I nodded. "So where are we really going?"

"Mall. I wanna get her a necklace, 'cause she's been real steamed up since I accidentally walked in on her in the shower this morning… get it, steamed up?" he chuckled to himself. I rolled my eyes, but followed him across the street and around a corner. There was a tiny little mall, 15 stores at most, just a block or two further down that he was evidently heading for.

"So. What's up?"

"Not much." I shaded my eyes and peered forward. It was warm out, even through the perpetual clouds of Washington State.

"Look, Edward. You're a great guy, one of my good friends… but I gotta say something."

I raised my eyebrows. "Please. Go ahead."

"You're a friend… but I've known Bella since I was two. And the way you're looking at her, dude, you'd better treat her right."

I flushed, doubtless red as a tomato. Had I been that _obvious_? I mumbled something noncommittal, and then, thank god, we were at the little mall and Emmett made a beeline for the only semi-nice looking jewelry store in the place.

We entered, and the air-conditioning was blissful. He wandered back and forth before yanking me over to the display cases and jabbing a finger at two necklaces: one a simple silvery pendent of some sort of deep blue-violet stone surrounded with smaller, flashing gems, the other a choker set with small dark red stones worked with what was probably brass.

"Whaddaya think?"

I paused, pondering what I knew of Rosalie. "The bluish one."

He frowned for a moment. "To match her eyes. I think you're right." He beckoned to a salesgirl. "What's that?"

She sniffed slightly. "That's tanzanite. And opals."

"How much."

Her voice was a sneer. "Three-hundred and seventy-five dollars."

He nodded, slowly. "I'll take it." He dug about in his pocket for a moment and pulled out a credit card, which he plopped down on the counter, like he spent nearly four hundred dollars on jewelry every day.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. But she swiped the card, he signed, and she packed the necklace into a box and handed it to him.

We walked out of the store and back into the heat, Emmett whistling cheerfully and me still stunned.

"Emmett? Is that—uh—do you really think—for a shower?"

He smirked at me. "Nah. Our anniversary is today, and she thinks I've forgotten. And I've got some money saved up, anyway."

He tossed his head towards another building, this one with a distinctive XXX ADULT sign above it, and raised his eyebrows with a leer. "Well, Edward? Wanna kill some _time_?" He waggled his eyebrows.

I sighed. Just when I thought he might actually be a sensitive, caring guy. "Emmett, I think we should just head back."

He clapped me on the shoulder, hard. "C'mon, Edward, don't be so boring," he sighed. I glared. "Fine, let's get back to the girls."

We walked back through the town to where Jessica, Ben, Angela, and Alice were waiting.

"Hey guys!"

We were quickly reabsorbed into the crowd and the chatter. It seemed that while Emmett and I were out selecting a bribe for Rosalie, the others had selected DVDs for this evening, and were on their way to meet the rest of the group at an ice cream parlor.

It was nearby, and while we walked I chatted with Ben about their movie selection for the evening. It was going to be interesting, to say the least. Everything was just fine, until we finally arrived at the ice-cream parlor, where Jasper, Rosalie, Mike, Tyler, Lauren, and Bella were waiting.

I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. Bella had an ice-cream cone—chocolate chocolate chip with rainbow sprinkles—and was eating it. Normal enough. But the way she was eating it should have been illegal. It was bad enough with the… the licking, and the swirly-tongue-thing, and the lapping up. But then some got on her fingers, and she started sucking on them, and biting little bits of the waffle cone off, and slurping up big hunks of ice-cream… and then it started to melt down out of the bottom of the cone, and she started… sucking on it… and then she had ice-cream all over her face and her hands and some on her _neck_ and she was laughing and grinning and she looked so happy I just about died. This was pure torture.

"Edward. Edward!" the voice of my twin snapped me back into reality. Alice was looking at me sympathetically. "Edward, breathe."

I nodded, somewhat frantically, but I couldn't afford to be pushy. It wasn't like I was able to hide anything from my twin. I was incoherent and distracted for the rest of the outing, and by the time we were back in Moby Dick and I was _sitting next to Bella_ I was completely out of it. Alice had to practically pull me out of the van and into the house, where I collapsed onto a sofa and closed my eyes. Then she went to snuggle with Jasper—I was so glad whatever issues they'd had seemed to have been resolved. I glanced up at the clock on the DVD player—6:24. Their little spat had lasted for almost three full days. That might just have been some kind of record.

"God, what should we do? I don't want to just sit _around_." Lauren had a whine that would make a mosquito green with envy.

"Oooh, let's play _sardines_!" my sister's eyes lit up. Uh-oh.

Mike frowned. "What's sardines? Like… the fish in the cans? We just ate."

"No… it's like hide and seek, only backwards." Alice frowned, "Um…"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Okay, basically, one person hides and everyone else seeks. But once you find them, you don't tell anybody, you just hide _with_ them, so by the end of the game you're all squished in together… like sardines in a can, get it?"

"Oh…okay." Tyler nodded. "Cool. Shot hiding!"

Rosalie grinned. "You get a slow count of twenty."

We all turned around to face the wall of windows that looked out on a soggy lawn. Lauren began chanting numbers, monotonous and high pitched. Vile.

"Un, deux, trois," Rosalie chimed in, in French. Ha.

Next came Alice, murmuring sporadically in German. I didn't even know she _spoke_ German. Soon everyone was yelling out numbers in various foreign languages (I thought I caught some Japanese, there was definitely some Spanish, a bit of Italian, and some of what sounded like the nonsense language Emmett and Jasper had made up last year), completely drowning out Lauren's caterwauling. Good. Twenty (or vignt, or nijuu, or squishi) arrived fairly quickly.

"Ready or not, here we come!"

We all split up—I headed straight for the basement. The only good strategy, when playing Sardines, was to be methodical about it. I clattered down the stairs, noting that only Tyler and Jessica were following me. Good. The fewer, the better. Once I reached the basement, I quickly peered into all of the closets in the largest basement room, where I had spent last night. Nothing. Next I stuck my head into the boiler room, pantry, several storage closets—still nothing (although I noted one very nice spot I would have to try out the next time I hid). I trotted back upstairs, and ran into the girls' room. I dropped to the floor: no one under the beds. Next was the closet—nada, just a lot of clothing. Next was both bathrooms (zip), the empty guest room (under the bed, behind the door, closet… nothing) and the laundry room (behind the door, on the shelves, in the washer and the dryer). By the time I made my way upstairs to the second floor, I was starting to worry a bit. I'd seen Ben, Angela, Mike, Rosalie, and Lauren. I was fairly sure that Alice had already found Tyler—the girl had an almost psychic gift for this game—but Emmett, Bella, and Jessica were still unaccounted for. I did a quick lap around the island in the kitchen/dining area (nothing) and peeked behind the piano in the living area. Still nothing. I retraced my steps to the top of the stairs and turned to go into the little hall that led to Jessica's room and the second guest room. There was nothing under Jess's bed, or in her closet… but as I ducked into a room that bore unmistakable traces of occupation by two teenage males, I heard… giggling?

I yanked open the closet door…

Good lord.

Tyler was standing, tightly pressed against the far wall, with Alice right next to him. I stepped in and closed the door, huddling towards the wall.

"Any idea how close anyone else is?"

Now, I'm certainly not the kind of guy who has this 'macho' reputation to maintain. In fact, I'd like to think I'm fairly laid back… so I'm not ashamed to admit that I squealed like a little girl when the _completely disembodied voice_ spoke into the darkness. Alice immediately giggled, then hushed herself. By now, I felt completely ridiculous… because I recognized the voice.

"_Bella?_ Where _are_ you?"

"Under the shoe rack, of course."

"How did you _fit_ under there?" She must have been curled up like a contortionist!

Uh-oh. Baaad thoughts, there. Bella… contortionist… oh dear. I swallowed.

"I guess I'm just flexible…" Help.

I mentally smacked myself in the head. What was I, some kind of pervert? First breakfast, then lunch, now this… I was taking completely innocent things she said or did and turning them into some kind of twisted innuendo suitable for some kind of courtesan!

Ah. Courtesan. Shit.

What was worst of all, though, was the fact that I could practically _hear_ Alice laughing at me in my head…

**APOV**

I bit my lip, _hard_, and grinned, even though nobody could see me. Getting Bella down there under the shelf had been brilliant… and as soon as I had figured out that Tyler was up here, I had dragged her with me. I had been sure that Edward would find us next, and now that they were both progressing wonderfully, I turned my attention to holding still and keeping quiet… something Tyler seemed to be having trouble with.

"Shh." I jabbed an elbow gently into his side. If he would stop _snorting_ like some kind of wildebeest with a respiratory illness, then everything would be perfect.

Of course, Jasper had to choose _just that moment_ to yank open the door and join us. I loved that boy, but sometimes…

I grabbed his arm and hauled him up against me, pressing a finger to his lips to indicate that _silence was non-optional_. He got the message.

We waited in silence, in the dark, and I could absolutely feel the hormones building… and building… and—

Oh, hell with it. I grabbed Jazz and hauled him down for a kiss. I'm only human, right?

After a moment or two, we separated as silently as we had come together, and I snuggled into him instead. Perfect peace.

Which was, of course, exactly when Angela and Emmett burst in, laughing. I hushed them, but it was starting to get a bit crowded… even with Bella under a shelf and me standing on top of the aforementioned shelf, there were four people just standing about in a closet.

The door opened again. Make that six. Jess and Rosalie had just found us. Angela had joined me on the shelf… but from the sound of things, Rosalie had already smacked Emmett several times.

When Ben showed up, I was non-happy. It was getting really _warm_ in here, and I sincerely hoped that the hand that was brushing my ass belonged to Jasper, _not_ Emmett or Tyler.

By the time Mike and Lauren finally found us, I was just about ready to scream. We all tumbled out of the closet (smirk) and after Bella had finally removed herself from the cramped space she'd squeezed into, she was left upstairs while the rest of us trooped down to the TV room to count again. Lauren didn't even try to go with that vile monotone—this time the strange languages and funny accents won the day.

After Mike did his impression of a Russian accent, we were all laughing so hard we accidentally gave Bella an extra ten seconds or so… oh well. She'd need them, although the hiding spot she'd chosen was rather good. I gave it a moment or two of poking about in other rooms before nipping into the garage (just off the front hall, opposite the stairs to the second floor) and jumping into the back of the truck with her. I saw that Rosalie had beaten me there.

"Hello, girls!"

I was immediately shushed. "_Alice._"

I shrugged. It wasn't like anyone could hear us. There was a freaking _wall_ in the way! I hunkered down in the back and waited, breathing as quietly as I could, for the rest of them to find us.

* * *

It took almost an hour. Honestly, they were _slow_. We waited, tense at first but growing more and more relaxed as the minutes ticked by. Rosalie and I chatted about our recent quarrels with our respective boyfriends, I teased Bella about Edward, Rosalie and I told Bella all about the truck we were sitting in, and eventually we got bored and started rating every boy in Forks High on a scale of one to four.

Jasper, Edward, and Emmett all got fours.

We had just about gotten up to rating the boys from the LaPush Reservation that we saw on the beach from time to time, when we were found by Emmett, Ben, Angela, Edward, and Jessica all at once. Hard on their heels came Jasper and Mike… and it turned out that Lauren had quit and was watching TV.

Bimbo.

After the prolonged round sardines seemed to have paled a bit, and so we played several rousing rounds of tag until supper at around 8:30. It was barbeque, and very delicious—I gorged myself and Bella managed to somehow spill ketchup all over her shirt.

I would have been more irritated by it, but the combination of pure joy and anguish that crossed my brother's face when she tried to wipe it off were more than enough compensation for the mess. Boys and their hormones. I shook my head. They were so easy to take advantage of.

After dinner, we settled down for a movie we had picked up earlier. It was my (and Bella's) favorite. It was the epitome of quality films, a true masterpiece, _the_ best piece of film-making in the entire industry. There was nothing bad about this movie— its levels of perfection were only equaled by works of Picasso. Or Van Gough. Or some other guy whose name ended in O.

It was _Snakes On a Plane_ starring Samuel L. Jackson.

Or, as I like to call him, Sammy L..

I snuggled up to Jasper as the movie was playing (I was so glad we'd had time to talk things out. And that Bella hadn't had time to corner me on it). It was still on the kid witnessing the murder, so nothing too interesting. Sammy L hadn't come up yet with his famous "do as I say, and you live" line, which is when the movie _really_ starts, so I decided to people watch.

Mike was sitting next to Jessica on the end of the couch, watching the screen with tentative eyes. He clearly hadn't seen the movie before. I smiled to myself. It was always good to have some first timers. Jessica, squashed between Mike and Ben (and valiantly not complaining about her lack of space), was just as clueless. Perfect, their reactions would be just as hilarious as the movie itself. Tyler was grinning, so he had to have known what was coming. Lauren, who had slightly more space than Jessica as she was sitting between Tyler and Angela, was watching the movie with a sneer. I mentally shrugged. If she couldn't appreciate the true beauty of _Snakes On a Plane_, then she deserved to suffer. Angela and Ben had the same looks on their face— both of them were clearly withholding their judgment on the movie for now. That was fine. I was sure they'd learn to love it when Sammy L. came on camera and the action began.

Emmett had a mischievous smirk on his face. This could either be due to the fact that he was sitting next to a pissed-off looking Rosalie, or because he, too, knew the greatness of this movie. I couldn't tell with Emmett, but it hardly mattered. I knew he had loved the movie when he saw it with me the first time. Rosalie, although looking pissed-off and slightly disgruntled, had all her attention focused firmly on the screen and off of Emmett. I knew she hadn't seen this movie, and I was unsure how she would take it, so at least it was good that she was paying attention. Either she'd learn to love it, or I would never speak to her again. Bella came next, tucked neatly in between Rose and a very nervously happy Edward. I gave her a closer examination than I normally would have— I already knew she loved the movie. But her smile was a tad too broad, and her eyes were just a little bit too bright, so I knew that Edward's presence also had something to do with her happy expression, and I was pleased.

But then I heard _'do as I say, and you live'_ and I had to stop people-watching. There was a movie to watch!

It was a great audience—full of newbies and veterans alike. The newbies laughed in all the right places right along with the old ones. Mike even fell off the couch from laughter during the bathroom snake-in-the-toilet scene, which I had to admit, was one of the best parts of the movie. And all of the old veterans chimed in (and by "chimed" I mean quoted and by "in" I mean exuberantly) during Sammy L.'s most famous scene.

"_I HAVE HAD IT!"_ We roared joyously. _"WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"_

As everyone burst into laughter, I caught sight of Edward's face. It was an odd mix of scandalized and awed. I didn't think he ever heard his 'innocent' Bella curse. I grinned. She had many more sides than he realized.

"Best. Movie. Ever." Ben grinned as the credits were rolling. "Loved it. The Microwave scene? Brilliant."

"And when the old man threw the dog?" Jessica agreed with a grin "I almost cried I was laughing so hard."

"Bathroom. Snake. Man." Mike gasped out, laughing again as he remembered the utter ridiculousness of that scene (and by "utter" I mean pure and by "ridiculousness" I mean brilliance).

"Wait you guys!" Bella informed them cheerfully. "It's music video time!"

"They didn't" Angela said, her eyes widening in mock horror as the very cheesy and very good music video started rolling.

"Ahh Cobra Starship," Emmett said "how I love them. The lengths they will go…"

Rosalie giggled, too distracted to even remember to be mad at Emmett. "I think I actually know this song," she mused "_Oh! I'm ready for it, c'mon bring it!"_

"You know it 'cause Emmett bought it off of iTunes and wouldn't stop playing it for a straight week." Jasper informed her soberly. Rosalie nodded, promptly remembered that she was supposed to be angry at Emmett, and turned his back on him. Emmett pouted. Aww, the great big teddy bear.

"I'm downloading that song," Mike announced, and wrote down _Bring It (Snakes On A Plane) by Cobra Starship _on the back of his hand.

"That was _such_ a bad movie." Lauren muttered insolently and quietly, but still, we all heard it.

"What?" gasped Ben "that was _phenomenal!_"

Jessica nodded her agreement as Tyler treated Lauren to a shocked expression. "By bad you mean good, right? As in, this movie is such a crappy action film that it turned comedy, right? 'Cause that's what it is. It's a _great_ comedy. It's a great movie. It's amazingly awesome. A classic."

Emmett nodded to Tyler's words of wisdom. Meanwhile, Bella and I narrowed our eyes. Doth mine ears deceive me, or didst she just calleth the movie _bad_?

_Snakes On a Plane_ was _not_ a bad movie.

She deserved to be slapped.

"Take it back." I said, my voice low and dangerous.

Jasper's eyes widened. "For the love of God, Lauren, take it back if you know what's good for you," he whispered.

His warning went, unfortunately for Lauren, unheeded. Or perhaps she didn't hear him. Either way, she opened her mouth and said possibly the stupidest thing that she could've.

"No," she said sullenly "by bad I meant bad. That was the stupidest movie I've seen!"

"Then prepare to face the consequences!" I declared, albeit a little dramatically. I seized the pillow next to me and promptly clubbed Lauren in the head like a baby seal. She let out a muffled shriek as first Bella, then Mike, then Edward, then Jasper, then everyone grabbed a pillow and began beating the nonbeliever. Lauren tried to put up a fight, but it was futile, the strength of our conviction was not to be matched. Eventually her yelling and struggling stopped, and we abandoned our cudgeling since it stopped being fun.

But then clumsy, silly, uncoordinated, darling Bella had to accidentally hit Edward in the head with her pillow. Edward, not expecting it at all, stumbled and crashed into Emmett, and it all dissolved into madness from there.

"THIS MEANS WAR!" He cried, and bashed Edward on the head.

After a minute or two of crazy free-for-all pillow fighting, alliances started being made. Soon it was very clear that we had divided into bowling teams, which was a bit of a problem. The guys were simply… _bigger _than all of us, and Bella's lack of coordination meant that she hit us just as much as she hit them. As Emmett fended Jessica, Angela, and I off all at once, I saw Bella and Rosalie go down back to back under the flurry of Edward and Jasper's pillows.

In this situation I could only see one solution: _play dirty_.

I stuck out a hand and tickled Emmett, who promptly fell down in a heap of helpless laughter. Angela and Jessica ran off to help Bella and Rosalie as I held Emmett off. Once I saw that most of the girls were safe, I knew the time was right to flee. To retreat, or rather, to _advance to the rear._

"Girls, to me!" I yelled above a writhing Emmett still howling with laughter. As they all ran back to me (and escape) I gave them the final command. "The room! Go!"

Lauren, who had managed to escape Tyler, Ben, _and _Mike all at once, nodded and led the way. Quickly, before the guys could react, we had all ran into the room Rosalie, Bella, Angela, and I were all sharing. We would hold in here until the boys gave up. We had enough food and water to stay here for a few hours, and the boys would definitely give up before then.

I slammed the door, the last to arrive. Bella locked the door, and threw herself at it to block it in case the lock failed. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief. That had been too close.

The door rattled.

We all shared frightened looks as Emmett's voice rang out. "Come out, come out!" He said in a terrifying sing-song. "We know you're in there…"

Jessica swallowed her fear. "But you can't get to us, can you? So I think we'll just wait here…"

"But that's not fair!" I could practically hear Emmett pouting.

"Life's not fair," Bella retorted.

There was a scuffle, whispers, a murmured "are you sure?", and then silence. The girls looked at each other in confusion. Sure about what?

"We are prepared to come to a truce." It was Edward speaking this time. "We give you our word of honor that if you open the door right now, we won't attack."

I shook my head. Boys had no honor.

"Swear by _Snakes On a Plane_." Angela challenged. I felt like hugging her; they would never even dare to defile the scared movie by lies.

"We swear by _Snakes On a Plane_," Edward said solemnly.

The girls, again, looked at each other in confusion and trepidation, but then opened the door a hairline crack.

"Who's your spokesperson?" Edward asked warily as he walked in with Emmett by his side.

"Rosalie," I said instantly. If there was anyone who could win the epic girls versus guys battle, it was Rosalie.

Rosalie scowled as Edward nodded. "Ours is Emmett."

Emmett, who never understood the warning signs, grinned and walked closer to her. "Hey sexy… having a fun anniversary?"

I heard Bella hiss. If I didn't know that it would all be okay, I'd be doing the same thing. That was below the belt.

Now, I'm not a very tall person, normally, and Rosalie is. So it's perfectly normal that I think she's a bit intimidating. Honestly, most people I know think she's intimidating. But I swear, that moment—and I think everyone there will back me up on this, except my moronic twin brother, who was staring at Bella instead—Rosalie looked about ten feet tall. And very, _very_ intimidating. To say the least.

"No, actually," she hissed, "this may be, I think, _the crappiest anniversary _ever."

He pouted. "But babe, didn't you like my celebratory skillz?"

Rose's eyes were narrowed in fury. "Ha! You _forgot _and you know it! All you got me for our goddamn _anniversary_ was a stupid _perve in the shower!_"

Emmett laughed. I winced. It was going to work out fine, of course, but I was slightly worried for his health in the interim. "Babe, I'm forgetful," he brought his hands out from behind his back, and displayed the box, "but I'm not _that_ forgetful… and since you didn't seem too keen on my _first_ anniversary present," he smirked, "I thought you might like this one better?"

She reached out and opened the box with hands that trembled just a bit. Inside lay an absolutely beautiful necklace—a simple silvery pendant with a stone of so deep and rich a blue-violet that it almost glowed, surrounded by winking gleams of light that _had_ to be opals. Rosalie lifted it delicately out of the box and turned so he could fasten it around her neck.

It fit her like it had been made with her in mind, the color of the stones just barely matching the color of her eyes. She beamed.

"Happy Anniversary, Rose." He grinned at her. "I'd get you flowers… but it seems redundant. What with the roses in your name, poppies in your lips, violets in your eyes, goldenrods in your hair, lilies in your skin…"

Rosalie swallowed, and it looked like she was blinking back tears. She leaned forward, slowly, inevitably, like she'd forgotten that we were all there (or like she didn't care, which was just as likely—neither of them were shy) and kissed him full on the lips for so long that I was sure Bella was bright red.

I sighed. They were so _cute_ together.

Well worth the effort I had put in getting them together in the first place.

Even though we'd probably just lost the pillow fight.

**A/N, **_**the 2**__**nd**__** Anniversary**_**:**

**Tequila:** awwwww…

**Justin: **--Wipes eyes-- Emmett's such a sap…

**Tequila:** shout out to Lord and Lady Peter on their anniversary last week… you guys are AWESOME :D


End file.
